Jackpot

I found 5 year old weed last week.

My allergies had been hindering my ability to watch football unbothered. I was unsure whether I should keep up the perpetual sniffle, or brave certain misery by dusting the place after which I could find some relief. Obviously, you wouldn't be interested in my choice to do the former.

I got out the Murphy’s Oil Soap, the kind you mix up in a squirt bottle, and started doing battle with the dust bunnies. Finishing up with the living space, I moved on to the dining partition of our humble apartment. I was doing my best to get into every nook and cranny when my rag got caught on one of those pesky nails they use to tack up wood trim.

This was a surprise to me because up until that point, I thought this piece of built-in furniture was solid wood. The façade was confirmed by the presence of three other hidden nails in this small 4 inch square piece of trim.

I tapped. Like a man with his ear to a safe, I listened closely for the hollow sound of a void in the space beyond this cover.

My first thought was, “I bet this would be great place to hide things. Like money… or DRUGS!”

Prying with my fingernails, I managed to work the four nails out of the larger piece. I removed the square. And behind it… DRUGS!

Apparently I was not the first to discover this ingenious hiding place. From the hole, I removed the classic Ziploc bag containing the old stems and seeds from Tom Censored’s 5 year old pot.

And how do I know this marijuana belonged to good ole’ Tom? Inside the baggie, he had wrapped his herbs in an old credit card bill, circa 2004. Genius.

Let’s just hope Tom kicked the habit when he left his stash behind. It may have been a factor in his rather large credit card debt.