Blue ICEE => Green Fudgies

I went to the local cinema last night, to see the latest Harry Potter flick. Having not been in a theater for quite some time, I noticed that they still had those big, red, sometimes blue, tall frozen bevarges called ICEEs. I can't recall having one of them since I was walking the halls of Jr. High School. Unfortunately, my choice to purchase a large Blue Raspberry ICEE proved to me what I've avoided to acknowledge for a while now- my digestive system is not what it used to be.


Upon finding my seat, I deduced that the temperature in a sold out show would be slightly higher than the regular freezerbox. I came to the conclusion that I needed to drink this large slurpy as fast as I could to avoid ending up with a big cup of blue sugar water. By the time the last trailer went dark, I realized that I had made a huge mistake.

As Dumbledore and Harry set out accross the Black Lagoon of submerged Inferi, I was only too little comforted by the fact that the gurgles and gloshes eminating from my lower intestines were drowned amoung the screams from the agonized old man. I legitimately knew exactly what Albus must have been going through while shoving that dubious potion down his throat.

Not wanting to unleash unwarranted brutality on my fellow movie goers, I passed the public lavatories and quickly made my exit with my party. I successfully sat out the car ride home and upon my safe delivery, proceeded to destroy what was once place of peace and thoughtfulness.

Twelve hours have passed and I'm still shitting green. Alas, farewell invincible stomach of my childhood; hello food hangovers of the future.