Better Late Than Never

Apparently, I was supposed to preview the NHL playoffs. But I didn't. What are you going to do about it? I RUN THIS FUCKING PLACE! WITHOUT ME, YOU'D HAVE NOTHING!

Anyway...

Round 2 of the NHL playoffs starts tonight. The first round saw an upset as the winningest team of the season lost to the Anaheim Ducks. How embarrassing. Also, Detroit destroyed playoff-virgin Blue Jackets, Chico sneaked by Calgary (thank God), Carolina scored twice in the final 1:20 of game 7 to eliminate New Jersey, Montreal's centennial ended thanks to the Bruins, and Couver wiped out the Cinderella team of St. Louis. Lastly, the Caps came from behind on the Rangers (tee hee) and Crying Crosby led the Pens past the Broadstreet Bullies.

Which caused Gary Bettman to jizz in his pants.
The Washington/Pittsburgh series is the Commish's wet dream. The sports two biggest stars in an evenly matched Round 2 playoff series. And it should be a good one. Even though the Caps barely beat the Rangers, they've won three in a row. Hopefully they can keep that streak up. The Pens are also hot though (but really, who isn't in the playoffs?) My completely biased, not at all backed up prediction: The American Capital in 7. If you want Pittsburgh to win, you hate the US of A.

I don't know what to do for the Anaheim/Detroit series. Both teams suck. Well, they don't suck. But I hate them. With my whole body. But which team do I hate the least? That's hard to say. I really don't want Detroit to win the Cup just because Hossa turned down the Wild's very lucrative offer to go play with a "winner." Not that Detroit isn't a winner, they're just not the Wild. On the other hand, I hate the Ducks, especially after the 2007 playoff series, which consisted of cheap shot after cheap shot. And if you're calling me a giant homer right now...have you ever read this blog before? Anyway, to the pick: the Flying Wheels in 6.

Carolina versus Boston? Boston in 5. Lina came into the playoffs a six-seed. Boston had the second best record in the league at the end of the season. Also, I don't know a whole lot about either team, so I'm basing my pick on this totally awesome Bruins commercial:

And Zdeno Chara haunts my dreams.

Lastly, the Blackhawks are taking on the Canucks. Luongo is on fire right now, which could spell trouble for the Hawks. However, Chicago still has a hell of a lot of talent, albeit young talent. I see them overcoming and finding a way past the Vancouver goalie and into the Western finals. (Even though they're currently getting spanked in Game 1. Hawks lost Game 1, but not before coming back to tie it.) Hawks in 7.

As for a Stanley Cup winner? I see Boston taking out Washington and Detroit beating Chicago. I'm going to take the Eastern conference champion to win it all in 7 games. But once again, all these picks are clouded by feelings and biases as big as Rusty's mom's ass (NSFW?). Take it with a grain of salt.

Closing note: When I searched Google for "Zdeno Chara scary," this came up:
Awesome.