Man Night '09

Women like to have their time together where they go get makeovers and talk shit about men. This leaves the mice to play while the catty women are away. That's how the first Man Night occurred back in the spring of '08. While Rusty's significant other and her friends had their own getaway entitled "Pink Panty Pulldowns" (there's some story there, but I don't know what it is...or care), the rest of us decided to have a "Jockstrap Jazzercise." Thankfully, we quickly dropped the name, and instead used it as the team name at trivia night.

The innagural night consisted of watching the Gophers hockey game while playing Edward 40-Hands, then stumbling to the Man Palace to play beer pong and crash the neighbors kegger. Its was a good night.

The second annual Man Night occurred last Saturday as a final hurrah before Rusty ventured to DC for a fancy internship. The night started at the Man Palace where beer pong was played before heading to a FREE Minnesota Swarm game. I've only seen about 10 minutes total of lacrosse in my life, but it seemed interesting. We arrived at the game with a very pleasant buzz going and full bladders from the 40 minute bus ride. (Actually, one of us arrived at the X with an empty bladder because he couldn't hold it anymore and had to exit the bus early to piss in an alley.) As we rushed through the door on a bee-line to the potties, a kindly old greeter met my eye and asked if I needed to buy tickets while pointing to the ticket office. The look in my eyes must have communicated the direness of the situation as I shook my head, as he simply said "Bathrooms?" while pointing to the nearest commode.

The attendance of the Swarm game was listed as 13,000, their highest turnout in their history. Because the Xcel holds more than 18,000, the sight of an empty upper deck was slightly depresssing. However, we did our best to make up for the lack of a fan base by screaming from the first faceoff. I noticed quickly that two Swarm employees were keeping a close eye on us. I'm used to this from being watched like a hawk at Mariucci, but we weren't swearing or interfereing with others viewing pleasure. Five minutes later, one of these employees came and sat by us and asked to have a word. How we were getting yelled at by security five minutes into the game was beyond me, but to all of our surprise, he started handing out tickets to the next home game, located in the suites. Apparenlty we had been named the fans of the game.

Our moment of fame soon came when the 40-year-old dance team came over along with a camera man, our cue to start acting like dumbasses. We waved our tickets and gave the "We're #1" and thumbs up for what seemed like five minutes while we were on the Jumbotron, before the camera turned off and the dance team made an ego-bruisingly fast exit. The Scarlet Avenger also texted in to try and win tickets to the WCHA championship game, which of course he found out he won the next day.

In order to catch an earlier bus to get more drinking in, the Wells Fargo College Fans of the Game left with 10 minutes left. As we went in the elevator, we were talking about our good fortunes, and the elevator operator asked us how we had won tickets. Rusty summed it up best. "We were the drunkest ones here."

At the bus stop, the Avenger discovered a substance which he believed to be gum (even though it was "greasy" and would come off on his fingers) on his jeans. "Maybe one of the cheerleaders spit it on you." "THOSE FUCKING SLUTS!" When we got on the bus, he discovered it was actually mustard, and it didn't come from the cheerleaders.

The rest of the night was slightly less eventful. The usual beer pong, tippy cup, and Tourette's. There was also cigar smoking and pissing in the snow. Overall, it was a good night.