While on my way home from work the other day, I was in giddy works over mood. Barely hearing the radio over the wind whooshing past the windows in my non-airconditioned Ford $-150 to fill up the tank pickup, I noticed something fly out of the window of the car in front of me. As I rambled on past I see a blur of what I make out to be an empty cigarette container.
Really? Is your passenger seat that overflowing with old used Kleenexes or was your grip on the pack just too loose as you opened the window to light up that cancer stick? I understand that my gas guzzling monster of a vehicle tickles mother nature in a way she refers to as "bad touch," but at least it doesn't leave shit lying around on the fucking highway.
Another point: Just the other week some jackass was walking by our dearly beloved Man Palace Central, polishing off a fresh brew before some sort of sporting event. He must of finished it in passing because as I stood the kitchen, I noticed a the glint of a PBR can arching over our newly repair fence (also, kudos to the drunk that decided to do a number on that one). Sorry, could you not wait for the recycling bins ten feet up on the right? Are you just that weak that you couldn't hold on to that empty can for another 5 seconds? Had I not been in my skivvies clutching a half-baked lasagna, I would have run after your ass and and thrown you in a trash compactor myself.
Now I am not a card carrying tree hugger nor do I plan on saving the world by my lonesome (see: Al Gore), but I find it hard to commit such flagrant acts as these. You wanna turn your own yard into a landfill? Feel free. Leave the rest of us out of it. Right now, you are dropping a giant deuce on our beloved planet. And it makes me want to take a shit right in the middle of your bed; a nice little present on top of the comforter you fucking asshole. Thanks for your consideration.
Really? Is your passenger seat that overflowing with old used Kleenexes or was your grip on the pack just too loose as you opened the window to light up that cancer stick? I understand that my gas guzzling monster of a vehicle tickles mother nature in a way she refers to as "bad touch," but at least it doesn't leave shit lying around on the fucking highway.
Another point: Just the other week some jackass was walking by our dearly beloved Man Palace Central, polishing off a fresh brew before some sort of sporting event. He must of finished it in passing because as I stood the kitchen, I noticed a the glint of a PBR can arching over our newly repair fence (also, kudos to the drunk that decided to do a number on that one). Sorry, could you not wait for the recycling bins ten feet up on the right? Are you just that weak that you couldn't hold on to that empty can for another 5 seconds? Had I not been in my skivvies clutching a half-baked lasagna, I would have run after your ass and and thrown you in a trash compactor myself.
Now I am not a card carrying tree hugger nor do I plan on saving the world by my lonesome (see: Al Gore), but I find it hard to commit such flagrant acts as these. You wanna turn your own yard into a landfill? Feel free. Leave the rest of us out of it. Right now, you are dropping a giant deuce on our beloved planet. And it makes me want to take a shit right in the middle of your bed; a nice little present on top of the comforter you fucking asshole. Thanks for your consideration.
1 comment:
My biggest pet peeve is when someone flicks their cigarette butts out of their car window. The worst is when it then bounces off of your windshield!
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