Top 5 Ways To Tell Your Roommate You Splooged All Over His New Computer

So imagine, hypothetically speaking, that you are sans computer for more than a week and a half. The lack of perusing the likes of Big Tit Patrol or or Bookworm Bitches is starting to wear on you. Eventually you reach the breaking point and you need to borrow the nearest computer you can think of. For the sake of argument, just pretend that it happens to be your roommate's brand new laptop -still shiny white, with the box laying on the floor. You carry said computer to your fortress of solitude and proceed to surf your adult site of choice, catching up on those updated teaser-trailers.

Now imagine that your just getting down to business; the jar of petroleum jelly sits beside the computer on your desk. All of a sudden, without warning, your hitherto deprived prostate violently erupts in directions beyond your control. A nice pool of sticky goo is now oozing over the nearly fingerprint less keyboard. What do you do?

Art's Top 5 Ways To Tell Your Roommate You Splooged All Over His New Computer:

5) Run to the nearest best buy, shell out 1500 clams for a new one and replace it in his room before he notices anything is afoul. (Then, with some cleanup, you have a brand new computer for yourself)

4) Take him out to the local establishment and buy him a few beers. Once the both of you are inebriated, let the deed slip and with luck he will be fully understanding of your predicament and clear you of any guilt or responsibility.

3) Towel it off(use a bath towel now, mind you; those Kleenexes will work on your own rod but going after a computer with a handful of tissues is like trying to climb mount Everest with dental floss). With luck there will be a few sticky keys and nothing worse - could have easily been spilled soda.

2) Leave him a post-it not next to "the gift" and hope he's in a good mood.

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