FUCK THIS NOISE

I'm going to apologize right away for the tirade I'm about to go on. I'm tired, crabby, and hot, and then I read this shit on Deadspin. And although I have much better things to write about (such as the article on recent Wild signings that's been sitting in limbo for the past week) I've decided to shoot out a five-minute article which is sure to devolve into a frothy mixture of swearing and threatening of the life of one Mr. Fredrick Engh.

In short, the article blasts Little League All-Star games saying:

There’s nothing like sticking a dagger into a youngster’s self-esteem the first season he plays the sport by letting him know that he’s not good enough or considered worthy to be part of this elite group of teammates.

BOO FUCKING HOO. How fucking uptight is this guy? The reason baseball is a sport is because its COMPETITIVE. Jesus Christ. We better just make the kids from both teams go out to the pitcher's mound at the top of the 1st and hug it out, before calling it a goddamn draw.

Perhaps the paragraph that pisses me off the most is:

On top of all this, the National Standards for Youth Sports state that leagues should not engage in choosing post-season All-Star teams. The standards were put together by some of the nation’s top recreation professionals and are the true voice of reason when it comes to youth sports.

I'll give you one guess who the founder of the "National Alliance for Youth Sports," the organization that pulled these "National Standards" out of their asses, is. One Mr. Engh. Hmmm.

I don't know if I should be more mad at this assclown, or the mayor of Bumfuck Beachwood, OH, who after reading Engh's moronic ramblings, decided to CANCEL THE FUCKING ALL STAR GAME.

Engh's and Mayor Gordon's excuse of saving these poor kids' self esteem is retarded. Engh's article states that kids play sports primarily to have fun, which I absolutely agree with. That's the reason I spent 10 years of my life playing baseball. And if kids are actually having fun, they're not going to give a flying fuck if they don't make the All Star game. Oh damn, they're missing out on one five-fucking-inning Little League game. I was a half-decent player, not nearly an All-Star, but I still went every game and played to win. If these kids get their Power Rangers Pull-Ups in a bunch because they're passed over for an extra game, they don't belong in Little League. It baseball Darwinism, baby.

And the parents? If the parents are being assholes and pushing their kids to play a sport they don't want to, cancelling an All-Star game isn't going to do shit to deter that behavior. Find some other way. I don't know what... I'm not a fucking teacher. I am smart enough to realize what these two fucks don't though. Quit pushing your fucked up beliefs on us.

Engh even has a book called "Why Johnny Hates Sports." I'll tell you why Johnny hates sports. Its because Fucking Freddy took all the fun out of the game. Retard.

Mayor West Gordon (that was a subtle reference/burn...bonus points if you get it), reinstate the damn baseball game. MAN UP.

And Frederick Engh, why don't you get off your fucking high "moral" horse and BLOW ME.