WNBA

To the dismay of many, this post involves professional basketball. Something I thought I would never bring up again. Those appalled by this please skip to the last two paragraphs.

I enter the men's room this afternoon around 3:15 pm. Squatting down to what was anticipated to be a great release of digested Cheesy Broccoli Rice, I reached for the sports section. Unfurling it, I was disappointed to see more coverage of Professional basketball. But what is this? All these athletes have ponytails... And this one looks familiar...

Hmm... She used to wear Maroon and Gold in the Pam Borton's Lady Gopher Basketball Squad. Apparently she now takes up residence in Connecticut and plays for the Suns(they couldn't be from Phoenix now could they?). Needless to say the Suns dominated the Lynx for the second time this season. And that is about all the knowledge about womens professional basketball I can impart with you. Never Again.

But wait... Isn't there a certain men's basketball league in the midst of a championship series? Oh, they're there on the sidebar; I was hoping I had missed it. Almost didn't see you there, Kobe(Sidenote: Jimmy Kimmel just informed me the Lakers man is good friends with David Bekham - my respect for the footballer just declined five Schrute Bucks and a Stanley Nickel).

Hold on, I think I remember hearing something about another big tournament in Austria and Switzerland. One that is so manly, they don't even invite us pussies in the Americas to participate in. Oh hear is is on the bottom of page 7! This football tournament, only held every four years, called the EuroCUP has been underway for almost a week? Huh, who would have thought? As a soccer fan in the United States, the mainstream press sure makes it difficult for me to keep up with what the other 95% of the world is watching. Where are the priorities people?

And what a game we are missing. No getting bored of two weeks worth of championship games. You only get 90 minutes. No coming back the next night for a rematch. Such style, such grace and the occasional headbutt. My prediction: Croatia sneaks into the final only to be defeated by Spain 2-1. You heard it here first.