Testicular Televison

Remember when Spike TV came out, promising to be Man's cable destination? No? Well, that was their mission when they were still young and naive. Since then, its devolved into shitty hot-rod shows and constant reruns of CSI. That crap is soooo 2001. MXC was their only shining light, and even that has gotten old.

Hell, even G4, a decidedly gaming nerd oriented cable network has come up with some pretty badass shows, the most badass among them being Ninja Warrior. Those Japanese sure know how to make an obstacle course.

However, somewhat surprisingly, the newest frontrunner in manly TV turns out to be none other than the Discovery Channel. Who'da thunk? They have had Shark Week forever, and the only thing manlier than a great white shark would be a bear holding a shark. Although lately, Discovery, and its sister station the Hitler History Channel, have been upping the ante.

The best show on Discovery is easily Deadliest Catch, which according to the Strib, is now the number 3 rated show on all of television, not just cable, on Tuesday nights. Just for a cable show to make the top 10 rated shows on any particular night is a pretty impressive.

The show follows crab fisherman in the Bering Sea during the King Crab and Opelio seasons. And although it may not sound any more interesting than those Sunday morning fishing shows, throw 40 ft waves and ice into the mix, and you've got yourself a show. The Strib sums it up pretty good:

The folks are mostly men, all rugged, real and capable, proof that Americans can still live by their wits and the strength in their callused, competent hands. Call it testicular television.

Also, the fact that these guys can make more than a luscious $40K in less than two weeks of work adds some excitment.

These types of shows are really driven by the men themselves. These are the types of guys who bite the heads off fish (literally...its a pre-season tradition on one of the boats) and eat their shredded wheat without any milk (see previous post). Sig Hansen is probably the biggest badass of them all, mainly because he's Norwegian. And because they've never shown him sleep on the show, which leads me to believe that he actually doesn't during the season.

Other manly shows on Discovery and History are Dirty Jobs (Mike Rowe is a stud), Ice Road Truckers, and Ax Men. All are worth at least checking out for a quick fix of testosterone in a pinch. The women can have their network TV with Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and Top Model. I'll continue paying for the good stuff.

Well, technically I guess cable is included in my rent...