So I'm sitting in committee today, bored off my ass and I come across an article which is a stellar example of the depths to which our humanity has shrunk. An Iowan state senator is calling for a protest of Pizza Hut.
Apparently someone tried to rob a pizza guy. when said robber attempted this egregious act, the driver pulled out a gun, and owned him in the face. The driver was promptly fired, causing the media to cover this story.
Now, many would probably react initially to the terrible way in which the pizza company has treated their driver. Every person has a reasonable right to self defense, and an employee can't be expected to weigh the consequences of their actions in the heat of the moment. But I feel like an more important aspect of this situation is being overlooked.
WHO TRIES TO ROB A PIZZA GUY!?
I'm not ordinarily an advocate of capitol punishment, but if there was ever a case, I think this is it (postmortem of course, maybe just cut off the robber's balls or something). Just think of the hellish purgatory the would-be recipients of the pizza were placed in:
Stoner 1: Dude, where's my pizza at?
Stoner 2: *giggling* What pizza man?
Stoner 1: I want my fucking pizza! I'm ordering another one
Stoner 2: Dude, what if it comes right after you order another one?
Stoner 1: Fuck, pass me the pork rinds again.
I'm surprised there weren't two homicides that night.
1 comment:
Being a former pizza guy, I can attest to the fact that I carried around large amounts of cash on my shift, since we didn't cash out til we left. Luckily, I didn't have to have an ass-ugly "Pizza Man" sign on my car. Which, incidentally, almost got me shot once when a guy I was delivering to told me he was about to go get his shotgun we he saw a strange car pull into his driveway, until he saw me come out with the pizzas...
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