In the News: Aliens, Robots & Turkey Hunting.

That's right folks; looking back at the news this week, we have ourselves a great recipe for a Futurama Episode.

First off, in a lecture commemorating 50 years of the NASA space program at George Washington University, the great Steven Hawking gave his thoughts on the subject of extra-terrestrial life forms.

He answer question posed to about whether or not we are alone by saying - or typing rather, "Primitive life is very common and intelligent life is fairly rare." The astrophysicist and author of A Brief History of Time also commented that "some would say it has yet to occur on earth." What a jokester. Yes, Steven Hawking is convinced that there is life outside our on blue and green sphere however, he claims that those life forms would not have the mental capacity of a chiuaua.

Elsewhere, in the city of Phoenix, AZ, there was a UFO sighting on Monday. My best guess is that some extremely intelligent aliens received the broadcast of Hawkings speech, then used their highly evolved brains to go back in time to scare the fair people of Phoenix. Take that Mr. IQ of over 200.




In other news, Hilary Clinton managed to take a majority of votes in the Pennsylvania Primary on Tuesday. Experts are shocked at her persistence; they have agreed that her inner wiring should have blown a circuit sometime within the past month. Somehow she has managed to ensure another two weeks of the same old shit we're all tired of hearing about.



In our own fair state of Minnesota, in Sibley County, a nine year old boy was killed in a hunting accident. Authorities have reported that the father of the boy had told him to stay on the edge of a forested area while he went in and flushed out wild turkeys. Growing impatient, the boy followed his father into the woods. The father mistook the boys rustling behind him for the sound of a moving turkey and fired his twelve gauge shotgun in the boys direction. After calling 911 from his cell phone, the father carried his injured son out of the woods to where EMS could reach him. The boy was pronounced dead at the scene. The father had no valid hunting license.

Now I could go on about this for a whole post but I will try and keep my comments short. I am hunter; i enjoy hunting deer, rabbits and pheasant. I would one day hope to bring my young boy along for the expedition. But why on earth would you leave an eight year old boy alone with no hunters orange on his body whatsoever. And on what planet did you learn you hunters safety? Always be sure of your target and what is beyond. Sound familiar? It's careless people like you that make me question my position on gun control. May Hunter rest in peace.