Cops Busting Dealers is Pretty Manly

Let me preface this post with a statement. My neighbors might be HUGE drug dealers. I only say 'might be' because I don't want to get my ass sued. They drive Jaguars, Spyders, Beamers, and multiple crotch rockets. They leave their house on their cell phones only to return 7 minutes later with that little gleam in their eyes. They fucking EXCHANGE MONEY WITH STRANGERS ON THEIR GODDAMN PORCH. They're not subtle.

So this morning, as I'm writing the previous post, I heard an argument through my opened windows: "Dude, just get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here." The next thing, I heard some sirens, but didn't think anything of it. It is Minneapolis after all. People get their shit ruined with 2x4's by mobs in my neighborhood.

Then the thing that really got my attention: "Get your fucking hands on the steering wheel! Throw the keys out of the window!" And a second later: "Get on the fucking ground, NOW!" I looked out my window to see a cop with his gun drawn in my back yard, a guy in a car I'm assuming was trying to get away, and one of my neighbors on the deck sprawled out on his stomach. I'm awestruck. I'm not going to lie, I've been waiting for this day for over a year, ever since they kept me up til 4:30 in the morning by revving his motorcycle for literally a half-hour when I had a test the next morning.

As I'm soaking this in, another cop runs to the back yard as the original radios in "Yeah, we're responding to an armed robbery. One of the suspects had a gun. Apparently there was an argument between these two guys and one of them pulled a gun." So from what I put together, it is my opinion (no lawsuits) that the dealers neighbors angered one of their buyers or providers, who had come back to politely settle his disagreement with said neighbors, but pulled a fucking gun instead.

So then I run to the front door to see the scene outside. Eight police cars are blocking off the ends of the street, and cops are everywhere. The hotties on the roof across the street are told to get off their roof and go inside (they're a topic of an upcoming post) by a cop with a shotgun. I then went back up to my room because the Sarge and two other cops were talking right under my window and I could hear every word. " The one was talking smack to the other one. Then he started talking Arabic to those other fucks, probably telling them to hide shit." No, its not racist or agist or whatever you think. It was probably true. After Sarge decided to have a couple cops go in and subdue all the people hiding in the house, they moved out. I went back to the front door to watch the rest of the show.

I honestly thought SWAT was gonna show up. These cops were serious as shit. No one was wasting their time with pussy little pistols, everyone had at least a shotgun. One cop was crouched behind my roommate's car with an assault rifle. The cops with shotguns were hiding behind the trees in my front yard ready to blast the living shit out of anything that moved. By now, the construction workers building the next Hooverville across the street had stopped working and were also watching.

Unfortunately, nothing moved. They threw three guys in squad cars and searched the house. I don't know if they found anything, but I'm guessing they probably didn't. These guys are good at hiding it. My first month in this house, I was stumbling home underage, and there were four cop cars outside the same house. It was a drug bust, but they didn't find anything then, either. I'm sure things haven't changed.

After things settled down, the hotties went back on their roof. As one of their roommates got home (while all the cops were still there) they yell to him "The cops found your shit!" Funny? Yes. Dumb? Probably. Its kinda like yelling "Dude, I hope they don't find that bomb in my suitcase!" in an airport. Later, one of the cops comes over to the hotties and starts talking to them from the ground. A second later, we see Hottie #1 throw her cigarette that she was smoking down to the cop, who immediately took a couple puffs, then passed it to the poor sap in the back of the squad car. Amazing. After another hour of sorting stuff out, everyone left. Party over.

I love Minneapolis.